trixtah: (Default)
[personal profile] trixtah

This is related to a discussion on potential child abuse in a Carolyn Hax chat, with someone asking what to do if you're unsure of the situation.

You can also be nice to these kids. Past discussions of dysfunctional households have turned this up as a theme, that the kindness of outside adults is a lifeline, even if you don't get any more involved than to say hello.

I want to witness for the fact that this is TRUE. A kind shopkeeper who gives you 6 lollies for a cent, instead of 5. A friend of your deceased grandmother who holds your sweaty little hand as you cross the big road. A teacher who tells you in primary school that your test results are off the scale, and you start believing that maybe you aren't "as thick as pigshit" after all. An unfailingly gentle and kind young male teacher who makes history come alive with medieval dress-ups and facts disguised as stories. A young hippy-ish couple who pay a few dollars semi-regularly for me to baby-sit their toddler, and in doing so, and much more importantly, provide a quiet safe space away from the chaos at home.

These moments add up. They give you hope. They help you understand there are some decent caring people in the world. That some people live without constant violence, or the threat of it. And that maybe one day, there is something better to look forward to.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-10-26 02:25 am (UTC)
mmegaera: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mmegaera
I was a kid lucky enough to come from a household with parents who loved me, and I still have cherished memories of other adults who let me know they cared, too.

So, be nice to kids. Let them know they have potential. No matter what their circumstances, it can't be anything but good to do so. Better to err on the side of being too kind and caring, than not enough.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-10-26 05:33 am (UTC)
mmegaera: (Default)
From: [personal profile] mmegaera

(no subject)

Date: 2013-10-26 05:55 am (UTC)
ironed_orchid: pin up girl reading kant (Default)
From: [personal profile] ironed_orchid
I wasn't sexually abused, but coming from a family where yelling and physical fights were common, I cosign all of this.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-10-26 11:08 pm (UTC)
kk1raven: (Default)
From: [personal profile] kk1raven
I totally agree. It never hurts to be nice to kids. It never hurts to provide a willing ear to listen either. Even kids from good families need someone outside the immediate family to talk things over with sometimes. For kids in abusive families it can be the difference between coping with the situation and totally failing to cope. I came from a family where my mother was emotionally abusive and my father did his best not to notice her bad behavior. Having adults who'd listen meant a lot to me.

(no subject)

Date: 2013-10-27 02:58 am (UTC)
freyakitten: Pic of me doing a backbend supported by a gentleman who is less visible due to contrast (Default)
From: [personal profile] freyakitten
nth-ing this. Knowing that there are people out there who think you're awesome is and was pure gold, to me. People who laugh with you at your random funny comments. People who not only think it's cool that you like things, but tell you so, as well. People who let you try things. People who give you a hug (when appropriate and wanted) - and let you decide for yourself whether you want that hug or not. People who let you pet their dogs when you ask (and talk to you about the dog instead, if the dog is nervous and shouldn't be petted by strangers). People who answer the questions you ask and find out if you want to know more.

(Disclaimer: I like doing this for as many of the people in my life as I can safely manage, because I get off on seeing people gain stability and confidence in themselves :-P Especially at dancing, we get a lot of people who have always been told they suck, and every time I get them to believe me that they can do a thing, it's like going back and giving them-as-a-child a wanted hug. The joy! )


trixtah: (Default)

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