I think I'm mostly of the go-getter company (although not completely). I don't lack motivation, generally - but I actually don't usually think much about it. Mostly, I don't put myself goals all that much... (I do intend to have a post on this too, one of these days, it is a recent insight).
But I can thoroughly understand your dislike of looking incompetent. I hate feeling incompetent (whether I look it or not). It's partly the fault of a school influence, where quite a few of the teachers had the attitude that I should be able to work out things myself, instead of asking questions. Hello? Learning without asking question? Erm... In the late twentieth century? *rolls eyes* I've been trying to overcome this.
But what I have to say related to your post was my experience with driving. If there was one activity where I feel thoroughly inadequate, it's driving. OK, I got driving lessons in high school; passed my examination and got my license when I turned 18; then when I was in the US, my father and stepmother did a refreshing course for me, I went through another examination (again, successful), and got a second license. I was still, at that point, shaking-nervous behind the wheel. No real reason, except that I felt I was a terrible driver. The first license was issued in early 1999; the second - in early 2000. I almost didn't drive a car at all till this August.
In August, a friend and I started making a plan for a trip, a week-to-ten-days, by car, around the Balkan Mountain. Which sounded lovely. But in that case, if there were to be just the two of us... we had to be both able to drive. Anything could happen - a fall when we were walking, her feeling ill, whatever - I had to be able to drive.
Which worked wonders as a means of motivation. My mother had been coaxing me to refresh-course for _years_; she jumped at the idea immediately. I must say it was very hard on her too, but I sat down, survived shaking knees, having the car stop on me on cross-roads for a couple of days, but I WANTED TO GO TO THAT TRIP. And that overcame the fear, anxiety, inconvenience... whatever.
The conclusion I made from that experience - or rather, that got confirmed for me by that experience - was that positive motivation works best. The trip was a treat (although with the wrong attitude it could have been regarded as a disaster), and I don't regret putting myself through it. What also helped was knowing that I was in control - at any time I knew that if I wanted to give up, I could. That doesn't work for all things where motivation is necessary - not all by far - but it helps, when possible.
Sorry if I bored you with a longish post :) Greetings!
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But I can thoroughly understand your dislike of looking incompetent. I hate feeling incompetent (whether I look it or not). It's partly the fault of a school influence, where quite a few of the teachers had the attitude that I should be able to work out things myself, instead of asking questions. Hello? Learning without asking question? Erm... In the late twentieth century? *rolls eyes* I've been trying to overcome this.
But what I have to say related to your post was my experience with driving. If there was one activity where I feel thoroughly inadequate, it's driving.
OK, I got driving lessons in high school; passed my examination and got my license when I turned 18; then when I was in the US, my father and stepmother did a refreshing course for me, I went through another examination (again, successful), and got a second license.
I was still, at that point, shaking-nervous behind the wheel. No real reason, except that I felt I was a terrible driver. The first license was issued in early 1999; the second - in early 2000.
I almost didn't drive a car at all till this August.
In August, a friend and I started making a plan for a trip, a week-to-ten-days, by car, around the Balkan Mountain. Which sounded lovely.
But in that case, if there were to be just the two of us... we had to be both able to drive. Anything could happen - a fall when we were walking, her feeling ill, whatever - I had to be able to drive.
Which worked wonders as a means of motivation. My mother had been coaxing me to refresh-course for _years_; she jumped at the idea immediately. I must say it was very hard on her too, but I sat down, survived shaking knees, having the car stop on me on cross-roads for a couple of days, but I WANTED TO GO TO THAT TRIP. And that overcame the fear, anxiety, inconvenience... whatever.
The conclusion I made from that experience - or rather, that got confirmed for me by that experience - was that positive motivation works best. The trip was a treat (although with the wrong attitude it could have been regarded as a disaster), and I don't regret putting myself through it. What also helped was knowing that I was in control - at any time I knew that if I wanted to give up, I could. That doesn't work for all things where motivation is necessary - not all by far - but it helps, when possible.
Sorry if I bored you with a longish post :)
Greetings!