Gratuitousness
I just realised that my libido is at about alert level red when I caught myself fondling the click-wheel on my mouse. It has that slightly rubbery finish and is very smooth, firm, rounded, with a slightly giving surface, and is, um, proportionally appropriate. I suspect I've been doing it unconsciously all day, alas.
It could be worse: at least I haven't picked it up and tongued it.
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But if it makes you feel better, the Victorian perspective is probably a safe bet--so you're not just "very bad", you're "extra super bad with chocolate sprinkles". ;-)
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As for the Victorian perspective though, oh, it's good that there is surety somewhere - "extra super bad with chocolate sprinkles" sounds perfect. :-D
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*shakes chocolate sprinkles on
*runs away*
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:-D
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(Some things are simply more important than avoiding getting walloped, after all!)