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Knackered
So much for my frivolous prediction of moving the Canberra server to be trivial work. It's head office, for god's sake, of course any issues that could be easily coped with in the regions would be horribly magnified here.
I need a bloody holiday after my last week, and I will be having a few days off at the end of the month... because my mother and sister are coming to visit. Well, at least I get to spend a few days in Melbourne, but I don't really consider it a holiday. I get on okay with mum, but we have nothing in common (other than being bloody opinionated).
And she'll be meeting my SOBNQEG for the first time, which is not something I'm looking forward to. Either there will be the deathly silence, or she'll come right out and say "Why did you lure my daughter over to this wierd setup and then dump her?" or somewhat less polite words to that effect. Personally, I hope it's the latter (if I need to choose between the two), because then mum is willing to listen. If it's the deathly silence, there is going to be no dialogue because the whole thing is beyond redemption.
I've given my SOBNQEG the heads-up; I'm still undecided about whether to introduce mum to the two boys and the kids as well. That might just be a bit much. I'm not ashamed of them - if I were still living with them all, there would be no question of mum meeting them, and she would just have to cope. She's managed to cope with most of the stuff I've thrown at her for the last 36 5/6 years - it's this poly thing that she's finding hard to get her head around. I should have chucked that one at her earlier, but I didn't really formulate it properly to myself until comparatively recently, when I was in England. And, of course, I was there.
Before that, the best formulation I could come up with was "non-monogamy", which just really tended to imply a no-committment kind of scenario to me. Falling deeply in love with two women simultaneously, and my having awe-inspiring relationships with both of them (until neither of them could bear the situation any more) should have woken my ideas up a bit, but didn't. Oh well, England has given me a new career and a new sexual identity label to contend with. No-one could never say that my life has been boring.
I explained a little about my "caught between two lovers" thing to my mother shortly after the event, just before going to England; I think the judgment there was that I was just being fickle. So, trying to explain my last situation has been trying to unsuccessfully get past the "What's wrong with her that she needs TWO men and a woman?" Yeah, mum, I get to have more than one person too if I want to. And since I don't really get jealous, it doesn't bother me how many lovers my lover has. But since the kind-of breakup, any progress I made on that front has been well and truly eroded.
It really doesn't matter in the end; while I care about my mother's feelings, I really don't give a toss what she thinks. It's ironic: I never had to justify myself about the dyke thing. She always said, "If you're happy, I'm happy", which is bloody cool. And despite her opinionatedness on many fronts, she really does accept the whole thing. I'm sure we'll get over this hurdle as well. Maybe it's better that I'm single at present, so that she can digest it without having to form a relationship with my partners - hah, I know she'd find one of the boys almost insufferable. At least we don't have to worry about THAT at present.
I need a bloody holiday after my last week, and I will be having a few days off at the end of the month... because my mother and sister are coming to visit. Well, at least I get to spend a few days in Melbourne, but I don't really consider it a holiday. I get on okay with mum, but we have nothing in common (other than being bloody opinionated).
And she'll be meeting my SOBNQEG for the first time, which is not something I'm looking forward to. Either there will be the deathly silence, or she'll come right out and say "Why did you lure my daughter over to this wierd setup and then dump her?" or somewhat less polite words to that effect. Personally, I hope it's the latter (if I need to choose between the two), because then mum is willing to listen. If it's the deathly silence, there is going to be no dialogue because the whole thing is beyond redemption.
I've given my SOBNQEG the heads-up; I'm still undecided about whether to introduce mum to the two boys and the kids as well. That might just be a bit much. I'm not ashamed of them - if I were still living with them all, there would be no question of mum meeting them, and she would just have to cope. She's managed to cope with most of the stuff I've thrown at her for the last 36 5/6 years - it's this poly thing that she's finding hard to get her head around. I should have chucked that one at her earlier, but I didn't really formulate it properly to myself until comparatively recently, when I was in England. And, of course, I was there.
Before that, the best formulation I could come up with was "non-monogamy", which just really tended to imply a no-committment kind of scenario to me. Falling deeply in love with two women simultaneously, and my having awe-inspiring relationships with both of them (until neither of them could bear the situation any more) should have woken my ideas up a bit, but didn't. Oh well, England has given me a new career and a new sexual identity label to contend with. No-one could never say that my life has been boring.
I explained a little about my "caught between two lovers" thing to my mother shortly after the event, just before going to England; I think the judgment there was that I was just being fickle. So, trying to explain my last situation has been trying to unsuccessfully get past the "What's wrong with her that she needs TWO men and a woman?" Yeah, mum, I get to have more than one person too if I want to. And since I don't really get jealous, it doesn't bother me how many lovers my lover has. But since the kind-of breakup, any progress I made on that front has been well and truly eroded.
It really doesn't matter in the end; while I care about my mother's feelings, I really don't give a toss what she thinks. It's ironic: I never had to justify myself about the dyke thing. She always said, "If you're happy, I'm happy", which is bloody cool. And despite her opinionatedness on many fronts, she really does accept the whole thing. I'm sure we'll get over this hurdle as well. Maybe it's better that I'm single at present, so that she can digest it without having to form a relationship with my partners - hah, I know she'd find one of the boys almost insufferable. At least we don't have to worry about THAT at present.