I suspect a fair number of those folk who feel the need to define people's orientations/identities for them subscribe to the "one boy" theory of sexual orientation (also known as the "cooties" theory).
This school of thought goes as follows:
If you're bio-female and it comes out that you have ever slept with even one man, you get drummed out of the Dyke Club and your membership card and secret decoder ring are confiscated.
But if you're bio-male and if at any time in your life you ever kiss a guy, you're queer forever.
And no, it has not escaped my attention that many of the people who appear to cleave to this theory have themselves engaged in the occasional bout of boykissing. But then, I'm also on record as recognizing the truly breathtaking levels of hypocrisy that humans commonly engage in when dealing with matters sexual.
And yes, regardless of what one's occasional (or even general) behavior might be behind closed doors, one's *public* presentation of identity DOES serve as an advertisement as to what one is open to. Certainly *I* use it that way, and am not averse to changing how I identify depending on what/how I'm trying to advertise. (It's apparently quite amusing to watch all the little--and not-so-little--shifts in my appearance and behavior when I'm flirting "straight" and then a cute gayboy catches my eye *g*.)
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(no subject)
Date: 2007-05-23 03:53 pm (UTC)This school of thought goes as follows:
If you're bio-female and it comes out that you have ever slept with even one man, you get drummed out of the Dyke Club and your membership card and secret decoder ring are confiscated.
But if you're bio-male and if at any time in your life you ever kiss a guy, you're queer forever.
And no, it has not escaped my attention that many of the people who appear to cleave to this theory have themselves engaged in the occasional bout of boykissing. But then, I'm also on record as recognizing the truly breathtaking levels of hypocrisy that humans commonly engage in when dealing with matters sexual.
And yes, regardless of what one's occasional (or even general) behavior might be behind closed doors, one's *public* presentation of identity DOES serve as an advertisement as to what one is open to. Certainly *I* use it that way, and am not averse to changing how I identify depending on what/how I'm trying to advertise. (It's apparently quite amusing to watch all the little--and not-so-little--shifts in my appearance and behavior when I'm flirting "straight" and then a cute gayboy catches my eye *g*.)