Random raves

Someone has been posting a meme somewhere (here? I've lost track) about the best thing that anyone has ever done for you. There has been talk of special holidays, gifts, compliments, and so on.

The best thing that anyone has ever done for me was none of those things. And it was from a friend of mine, Rachel, who I'm no longer in touch with, but I have reasonable confidence that we'll pick things up from where they left off the next time we do get in touch. We've gone for years at a time - five or so - without being in regular touch, so this is nothing unusual.

Anyway, I was in a mutually violent and fucked up relationship with one particular g/f - it must be said that she started the violence, but I most certainly continued it in response. Why didn't I simply walk away? It tweaked a lot of my buttons - no one was going to assault me without my assaulting them back, goddamn it. Mixed up with "I'm not a victim", the fact I loved her very much, stupid butch pride and shame about what was going on with us.

First and only relationship where that has happened, by the way. And it will never happen again. I've always loathed violence, and that experience only helped me learn the ways in which I'd never end up in that position another time.

So, one night my ex and I had a particularly bad fight, and I was convinced there wasn't going to be much more before one of us killed the other. Seriously. She was drunk and incapable of coming after me (not that I told her where I was going), so I rang Rachel and told her I had to come over.

Rachel and her bf at the time were caretaking a hostel, so there was space for me to stay. I caught the bus over, in the rain, and ended up on their doorstep late in the evening - 10 or 11. She didn't ask me anything, but hugged me as soon as she opened the door. I told her things weren't good right now with T and I couldn't go back home that night. She and her bf made me tea and told me I could stay as long as I needed. She then took me into the made-up room, with the covers turned back, and held me while I didn't quite cry but shivered and gulped for a while.

So I stayed the night, talked a bit more with her the next day after a nurturing breakfast, and then went back home to sort out the latest round of shit. Rachel didn't press me for any gory details, and radiated a demeanour of knowing that I would be able to deal with the situation appropriately. That I was still an intelligent and capable adult worthy of her friendship.

My ex and I broke up shortly after that, and thank god, we mutually agreed it was best for both of us. (And man, I've had some interesting discussions during sex, sometimes!)

I will never ever forget the fact that I had somewhere to go in the middle of the night. That Rachel was there for me when I had never done anything comparable for her. It's incredibly precious, knowing that you have people to rely on that way. And that they care about you enough that they are there for you, if you need it.

So, it may not be the most out-there wonderful thing, and kind of what intimate friendship should be about, but for someone who is generally incredibly self-reliant, knowing the depth of care for me that it represents, is huge. Huge.

Dear lady in the groovy kiddies' shop:

I shouldn't have to tell you three times that it doesn't matter whether the gifts are for a boy or a girl when it comes to selecting the wrapping paper. I want cute paper to go with the cute little robot pants, dinky top and groovy toy I just bought; that is all.

Ok, you don't know me, and maybe I want some girlie paper for a little girl (although since the paper selection is sitting there right in front of the counter, I can actually use my eyes). But I shouldn't have to tell you twice more that it's irrelevant. I mean, seriously, STFU.

No love,

Trix

However, welcome to the world, wee Josephine. You couldn't have chosen better parents or a cooler older sister, so you've made a fantastic start.

( yummy cocktails )
As you can see from the pic, I have been doing stuff:

• Cocktails of pinkness (and other shades) with buddleia and i_kender at The Star at Night. Nom nom nom! As was the cheap and cheerful Japanese on Old Compton St afterwards


• Caught up with my old friend Shazza and heard about her new g/f of hotness and her new job as a copper


• Went to Tates Britain and Modern, drooled over Rothko and the pre-Raphaelites (and sundry others)


• Went to the V & A, looked at 1000 year old black Chinese tea bowls that are exactly like the ones used now, and lots of other coolness


• Went to Kew Gardens - pics to follow


• Went to Penarth in Wales to catch up with old friends and their new pooch. Squeezed in an exhibition at the Cardiff Art Museum


• Caught up with my old g/f Jo, who is just as groovy and fabulous as ever. And her dad, who invited me to come stay in Derby whenever I like, bless him. And her groovy aunty. Had cocktails with Jo after by ourselves, and hashed Life, the Universe and Everything

( Yum! )

You'd never guess what the first thing I did on hitting Wellington was, eh? That coffee had the consistency of sump oil, and tasted divine.

My darling friend B is enormous, but no baby as yet. The sun has been shining brilliantly, both in Auckland and Wgtn. My delightful Colombian friend R is just as delightful as ever, and the margaritas are fine. I spent $200 on CDs, but since I have a Real Groovy card, I got $90 off. Yay!

Belgian mussels for lunch. Mmmmmm!

Sometimes one has to believe there is something in what Jung said.

I learned today that the young WLI is going to be baptised as a Mormon tomorrow. For some strange reason, she didn't want to share the news with me directly. And while I know people choose religions for reasons that are utterly incomprehensible to me, I really don't think that the LDS church is the best choice for a young kinky bi woman with poly tendencies (well, the last part would have been fine in early LDS history). I know she wants to get away from some aspects of her past, and she genuinely wants to get married and have babies with a good reliable Christian man. I also know that being Christian, even of the LDS persuasion, is not a guarantee of "reliablility" or even "goodness". But hell, it's her life and her trainwreck.

Anyway, getting back to the synchronicity thing, I went to the Wikipedia main page to have a bit of a browse and found this article on Joseph Smith as the featured article of the day. Well, it's not engraved on Golden Plates, but it seems like I'm getting a message here. That's just dandy.

I hate being on the other side of the world and waking up to horrific news like this bombing of London. I hate being worried about my friends, none of whom have checked in yet. That's the trouble with intermittent communication via email, you don't know what their schedules are, or where they are likely to be.

Two of the bombs were near where I used to work. I often ate lunch in Russell Sq, where the tube train was blown up. We had work dos at the Tavistock hotel, near where the double-decker was bombed. My old workplace was used as a staging area for some of the wounded. I have ex-colleagues and a couple of friends who could have possibly been on one or the other of the tubes. Luckily most of them would have been in the office before 9, but I've emailed one ex-colleague who should be able to update me on how everyone there's getting on.

I'm just hoping my lovely ones who work centrally are ok.