Dear intarwebs

[trixtah]

Can we pleeeease stop with the knee-jerk posts/comments from bigoted lesbians who seem to feel the need to define people's sexual identities for them? FFS. I thought that died off in the 80s except for the real old skool types - it unfortunately seems to be undergoing a lovely resurgence

I suppose I'm a tad oversensitised from last week, when I was informed, by several, that I'm "really" bi. Let's see, I've had 24 shags with men in total (not men, shags). No relationships with any of them. I've had about a dozen significant relationships with women, and, hm, 20 years x an average of one shag a week = 1040 girlie shags (wild guesstimate - I tend to have peaks and troughs). Ok, so to date, I'm 2.2% bi. How many of these twoo lesbians are that "bi" as well, do you reckon? Especially the ones who had tarnished themselves with evul mangerms before they Saw The Light and who have only been out for five minutes (comparatively).

Anyways, that's all bullshit. More serious point, I'm surely not the only one who thinks that by IDing as bi (or any sexual identity), you're actually advertising what you're open to (as well as your general history). Aren't you?

Comments

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Also, that's a PITA about the butch=dyke thing. I'm glad that the gender identity is separated from the sexual one in English. For example, my mother is butcher than me, but is most certainly 100% heterosexual (she likes butch men as lust objects, heh). What do you call those "tough" women who are butch without being dykes, like farmers' wives?

Also, the fem dyke babes must get pissed off! :-)

[thette.livejournal.com]

Well, you can be dyke without being butch, but if I said I was just butch, most people who weren't lesbians would just look at me funny. ("Flata", "butchflata" and "butch", and many more people would get the context for the second one.)

So, I've decided what to say if someone asks. (Why does nobody ask? I want to tell them!) "My gender identity is not 'woman', it's 'butch dyke'. I still like men, but that's a side issue." Which has the advantage of being a pun, since "side issue" is called "bisak".

When it comes to the butch women in general society, I can't recall a name for them. Sure, "man" or "male" is sometimes used as a slur, and so's "dyke", but as long as they do their job well, I don't think anyone says anything about their gender identity that's not outright an insult.