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Cognitive dissonance
Jul. 4th, 2006 06:43 pmWell, I was hoping to have a nice cheerful post for you all by today. I went home - to Auckland - for a few days, and it was fab. The sun shone, I got to see a ton of my friends and have excellent quality time with them all. I squoze three babies, who are just all cute. I had nice meals and great coffee. I attended the con for people who subscribe to the alt.polyamory newsgroup with the CDL and that was wonderfully unstressful and fun. I had some excellent quality time with the CDL as well, which was wonderful after a fairly otherwise-occupied few weeks, and which featured one of the best dinners I've ever had. She's a fantastic person to be around on so many levels, and was a great travelling companion on the way back. Getting home was no stress given the fact her Bear came and picked us both up from the airport, thus removing the need for stupid taxis.
But instead of feeling the usual degree of recharged and happy and loved-by-my-loved-ones and less homesick and all that after being in NZ, I have another cold. I had yesterday off work, and spent most of today in the office feeling like The Return of the Living Dead. Everything has been difficult, and while I think I'd be coping better if it were just normal being sick, coming after a big emotional high, my energy isn't where it should be. And that just feels wrong. I should be bouncing around the place going "Yippee!", or, as would be normal in these circs, "I'm toooodally mellow, man", and for that not to be the case is disappointing.
Instead, stupidity like a senior manager telling us to remove Firefox from our PCs at work because of "security reasons" (hang on while I spit) is just typical of some of the things that were pinging me today on just the trivial work level. I don't even feel irritated by it, just flattened. Not good.
Actually, disappointment and feeling snuffly and tired just isn't the best combination all round, so I think I should stop thinking about it and make some miso soup. At least I was able to find some kombu in the Asian shop on the way home from work, so I can make some proper dashi from scratch rather than use the instant stuff that has MSG as its second ingredient.
I promise a more positive post once I've got my emotional equilibrium back in its usual place. There're a lot of nice things to talk about.
But instead of feeling the usual degree of recharged and happy and loved-by-my-loved-ones and less homesick and all that after being in NZ, I have another cold. I had yesterday off work, and spent most of today in the office feeling like The Return of the Living Dead. Everything has been difficult, and while I think I'd be coping better if it were just normal being sick, coming after a big emotional high, my energy isn't where it should be. And that just feels wrong. I should be bouncing around the place going "Yippee!", or, as would be normal in these circs, "I'm toooodally mellow, man", and for that not to be the case is disappointing.
Instead, stupidity like a senior manager telling us to remove Firefox from our PCs at work because of "security reasons" (hang on while I spit) is just typical of some of the things that were pinging me today on just the trivial work level. I don't even feel irritated by it, just flattened. Not good.
Actually, disappointment and feeling snuffly and tired just isn't the best combination all round, so I think I should stop thinking about it and make some miso soup. At least I was able to find some kombu in the Asian shop on the way home from work, so I can make some proper dashi from scratch rather than use the instant stuff that has MSG as its second ingredient.
I promise a more positive post once I've got my emotional equilibrium back in its usual place. There're a lot of nice things to talk about.
