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I just watched the Star Trek movie, finally. Ok, I've never been a Trekkie, but I didn't mind the TV show as a kidlet (I liked it way better than Lost In Space). But am I the only person in the universe to think that the recent movie was essentially shite? Great cast, but the story sucked, the effects were trite and music was fucking annoying.
It was the story part that was the worst aspect - all the chicks in mini-skirts, James T Kirk driving sports cars (!) and futuristic motor bikes and being a Bad Boy™ until his True Worth™ is finally recognised and he is redeemed via the powah of finding his True Destiny™ as the Noble Captain™, because he Just Knows the Right Thing to Do At All Times™ (it's In His Blood™, don't you know). And he didn't even do the flirting with chicks thing well. Shatner at least managed to play the shagging-the-green-ladies bit with humour and actual panache, as opposed to the "How you doin'?'" style of this moron. And Shatner had better sideburns.
As for Spock and Uhura getting it on, WTF? And even more WTF without any backstory (or forwardstory) about their getting it on whatsoever (except for him getting a bit of a snog from her when Vulcan gets blown up - way to comfort someone) - so much for even bothering to try and sell that particular subplot. I've read fanfic from 17-year-olds that's more convincing in terms of character arc (and getting unlikely couples together).
Yeah, they threw in a couple of lines from the TV show and some visual gags (viz. green ladies), but it added up to a sticky half-melted mess of candy floss when you were hoping for nice buttery popcorn.
I'm even more amazed at the fact that this pile of crap was so highly rated. I think Roger Ebert's review was the only one that seemed near the mark, from my perspective. I would alter his final line: "If you want [shitty, bombastic, underdeveloped and unnuanced] space opera, you've got it." It's not even good sci-fi, even for the crappy standard of sci-fi in movies.
6/10, mainly for some good characterisation of everyone except Kirk (the Prodigal Bad Boy™ - there is a difference between pouty bad boy and proper mavericks) and Spock-the-younger (he's sooo emotional and conflicted and sad and girls want to kiss it better, gah!) and the baddie (let's get Eric Bana and waste him), and a couple of funny bits - Kirk running around an icy planet being chased by a giant bug seemed to be about the only scene that could have been seamlessly incorporated into the TV show.
It was the story part that was the worst aspect - all the chicks in mini-skirts, James T Kirk driving sports cars (!) and futuristic motor bikes and being a Bad Boy™ until his True Worth™ is finally recognised and he is redeemed via the powah of finding his True Destiny™ as the Noble Captain™, because he Just Knows the Right Thing to Do At All Times™ (it's In His Blood™, don't you know). And he didn't even do the flirting with chicks thing well. Shatner at least managed to play the shagging-the-green-ladies bit with humour and actual panache, as opposed to the "How you doin'?'" style of this moron. And Shatner had better sideburns.
As for Spock and Uhura getting it on, WTF? And even more WTF without any backstory (or forwardstory) about their getting it on whatsoever (except for him getting a bit of a snog from her when Vulcan gets blown up - way to comfort someone) - so much for even bothering to try and sell that particular subplot. I've read fanfic from 17-year-olds that's more convincing in terms of character arc (and getting unlikely couples together).
Yeah, they threw in a couple of lines from the TV show and some visual gags (viz. green ladies), but it added up to a sticky half-melted mess of candy floss when you were hoping for nice buttery popcorn.
I'm even more amazed at the fact that this pile of crap was so highly rated. I think Roger Ebert's review was the only one that seemed near the mark, from my perspective. I would alter his final line: "If you want [shitty, bombastic, underdeveloped and unnuanced] space opera, you've got it." It's not even good sci-fi, even for the crappy standard of sci-fi in movies.
6/10, mainly for some good characterisation of everyone except Kirk (the Prodigal Bad Boy™ - there is a difference between pouty bad boy and proper mavericks) and Spock-the-younger (he's sooo emotional and conflicted and sad and girls want to kiss it better, gah!) and the baddie (let's get Eric Bana and waste him), and a couple of funny bits - Kirk running around an icy planet being chased by a giant bug seemed to be about the only scene that could have been seamlessly incorporated into the TV show.
