Best rejection letter ever

The Guardian today has an article on rejection letters sent to various people, and the one to Gertrude Stein is pure WIN.

Dear Madam,

I am only one, only one, only one. Only one being, one at the same time. Not two, not three, only one. Only one life to live, only sixty minutes in one hour. Only one pair of eyes. Only one brain. Only one being. Being only one, having only one pair of eyes, having only one time, having only one life, I cannot read your MS three or four times. Not even one time. Only one look, only one look is enough. Hardly one copy would sell here. Hardly one. Hardly one.

Many thanks. I am returning the MS by registered post. Only one MS by one post.

Totally agree with the sentiments as well. :-)

Lesbian household hints

So, I still haven't gotten the hang of folding fitted sheets - I do it, and then forget - and so I did a bit of YouTubing to find some helpful hints. I found one woman's cute post, and then saw she had a channel with such gems as "how to apply red lipstick". Ok, I watched that one - a skill I assume I'll never require - and thought, if this woman is not a dyke, she should be.

Well, how nice to know my gaydar is working well.

It also helps if the woman my gaydar is twingeing over is attractive; I'm so crass. She even makes cocktails. I might buy her book too. :-)

Move over, Nigella, I say.