UGH

I have been "invited" by no less than three people to the "Femme Appreciation Day" event on Facebook. While I think the femmes in one's life should be appreciated for their awesome selves - and their lovely presentation is definitely a part of that - I really can't get behind something that promotes itself with this horribly saccharine glurge:

"…Vying for her princess kerchief
"May I ride for you, m'Lady? May I ride for You, today?" [Many femmes would laugh in your face if you called her "princess". And sure, I'm totally on my white horse at all times.]

To impress her, even if it's only in our heads... 'cause we're wired that way and can't help ourselves; and we know it, can't admit it half the time, have conquered kingdoms, started wars [Yeah, that punch-up at the dyke bar was srs bsns], learned to cook (maybe not so well) [speak for yourself], given up all days off & driven miles and kilometers just to fall for moments near her eyes...

…Because femmes have this amazing power to inspire, to comfort, to tease, to hook, to care for; to freeze us in our tracks with a single smile or a fleeting sidelong glance.... We protect our own protectors when we defend our femmes. [Oh wait, it's the Western frontier?]

'Cause a femme can stop time with a tiny wave….all effortless yet all powerful…[Totally, no matter what her life circumstances, and because being awesome requires no effort whatsoever, nuh uh]...

...The Fire in her soul, the hearth around which the universe turns" [Great, we'll throw in some goddess-worship as well]

Yeah, I can't even get behind the actual sentiments no matter how much I think many femmes rock. I'm not anyone's knight in shining armour, I do not have submissive tendencies, and I'm not into goddess worship, unfortunately. What a waste.