While I am not into "medicalising" every single personality quirk

[trixtah]

...um, this is interesting:

If you experience more than 10 points on this adult ADD self symptom test, Attention Deficit Disorder is likely present.

• An internal sense of anxiety
• Impulsive spending habits (I'd call it "binge spending" - a few times a year, like this past weekend)
• Frequent distractions during sex (LULZ)
• Frequently misplace the car keys, your purse or wallet or other day-to-day items
• Lack of attention to detail
• Family history of ADD, learning problems, mood disorders or substance abuse problems (not on my mother's side of the family)
• Trouble following the proper channels or chain of commands (I resent it, but I generally do it because it's stupid to do otherwise, often)
• An attitude of "read the directions when all else fails"
• Frequent traffic violations (I speed, but I've only ever been done once)
• Impulsive job changes  (Well, upping stakes to go to England with no money and no job was not the most considered decision in my life, but still)
• Trouble maintaining an organized work and/or home environment
• Chronically late or always in a hurry (I generally rock into work at 9:30. I'm very punctual for people.)
• Frequently overwhelmed by tasks of daily living (my flat and my desk are messy as hell right now, but I'm not counting it that way)
• Poor financial management and frequent late bills
• Procrastination
• Spending excessive time at work due to inefficiencies
• Inconsistent work performance (in the sense that it is, but I'm never really bad - I vary from "very good" to "indifferent")
• Sense of underachievement
• Frequent mood swings (I don't think of myself as "moody", but I am not often calm. I'm calm in dire emergencies, and when someone else needs me to be.)
• Trouble sustaining friendships or intimate relationships (I'm very unsure what to put here. My friendship track record is fine despite my shocking level of communication... relationships, I dunno)
• A need to seek high stimulation activities (I don't think Flash games count)
• Tendency toward exaggerated outbursts (but not abusive ones. Not sure how much I should count my ranting tendencies)
• Transposing numbers, letters, words
• Tendency toward being argumentative (not for its own sake, but if I feel that someone's getting at me, it's hard for me not to keep arguing back)
• Addictive personality toward food, alcohol, drugs, work and/or gambling
• Tendency to worry needlessly and endlessly
• "Thin-skinned" - having quick or exaggerated responses to real or imagined slights (quick, yes)

So, 10 bolded strong responses, and the itals represent varying levels of semi- or sometimes true statements. So if they're a half-point each, we'll call it an additional 3 points.

I realise this is a very simplistic questionnaire, but it's interesting food for thought, especially with my levels of self-distraction and procrastination driving me nuts right now. I found some info that ADD does not have to have a hyperactive component, even as kids, and that is interesting too:

• Often fails to give close attention to details.
• Often makes careless mistakes in schoolwork, work, or other activities.
• Often has difficulty sustaining attention in tasks or play activities.
• Often becomes easily distracted by irrelevant sights, sounds and extraneous stimuli.
• Often does not follow through on instructions and fails to finish schoolwork, chores, or duties in the workplace.
• Often has difficulty organizing tasks and activities.
• Often avoids tasks, such as schoolwork or homework, that require sustained mental effort.
• Often loses things necessary for tasks or activities, like school assignments, pencils, books, or tools.
• Often is forgetful in daily activities.
• Rarely follows instructions carefully and completely.
• Often does not seem to listen when spoken to directly.

Although some of the hyper stuff fits too (selected list):

• Often shifting from one uncompleted task to another.
• Often talks excessively.
• Often blurts out answers before hearing the entire question.
• Often has difficulty awaiting turn or for a turn.
• Often interrupts or intrudes on others at school or work and at home.

Just tick all that off (except maybe the "does not listen when spoken to directly") for how I was as a kid... and quite a bit now. I daydreamed, never paid attention at school, and can literally count the homework items I did over 13 years of school on one hand. No exaggeration. I was lucky because I read fluently and lots, could take in stuff while still daydreaming (because so much teaching is about repetition - I got it the first time! ...if I happened to be listening), and was good at sitting exams. Really really lucky. However (and in keeping), I have the happy ability to be able to focus for ages on something I actually find interesting.

Now I'm semi-tempted to get hold of some speed to see what it might do to me (that is, if it works in that "backwards" way that it's supposed to with people with attention deficit disorders). I've had cocaine a few times in my life and I must say it was enjoyable, although I felt dangerously confident. I didn't try working or concentrating on anything after I had taken coke, although maybe that would have been an interesting experiment. Hm. Anyway, interesting food for thought.

Comments

[cleverthylacine]

Well, maybe maybe not, but I'm ADD and the only one of those that I don't have is frequent traffic violations. This is because I can't get a driving licence to start with. (Perceptual problems. And also the fact that if I try to talk to someone or even listen to music while driving, I lose track of what I'm doing.)

I did coke once and felt like I was G-D. I never touched it again. I was afraid if I ever did it the second time I would never, ever, ever, EVER be able to stop. I'd be like Sherlock Holmes, but they don't care about that when they haul your ass in to gaol.

[trixtah]

Yeah, if I have it, it's pretty mild. But in the DSM, I relate to 8 out of 9 of the symptoms, although they're not enough to be sufficiently "impairing" to warrant my insurance to pay for treatment if I were in the US. :-)

Funnily enough, with driving, it helps if I listen to music, because otherwise I get bored and inattentive. I have to be pretty careful if I have a passenger in the car though (but I'm very conscious of that).

As for coke, I totally know what you mean. That's why I only purchased one lot ever, and when that was gone, it was like "that stuff will own me if I have more". So, no thanks.

A friend suggested I try coffee in the evening to see what that would do, and I did last night. Out like a light within half an hour, half an hour before the time I was intending to go to sleep. I wish coffee didn't feel so toxic to me, because I'd totally self-medicate.

[aquaeri]

Given how thought-provoking it was for me, I have to pass on this link:
http://www.sengifted.org/articles_counseling/Webb_MisdiagnosisAndDualDiagnosisOfGiftedChildren.shtml

[trixtah]

Yep, I've totally seen that happening too. Over-sensitivity + brains + impatience with idiots (and under-developed social skills) does not necessarily add up to pathology.

However, the thing about this (if it exists) very mild ADD thing for me, is that it seemed to "click" with me in the same way that I recognised something about myself when I watched a MFF soft-porn scene when I was 16 (after not having considered myself to be anything other than heterosexual up to that time).

I've struggled since I can remember with considering myself to be lazy, underachieving, disorganised, absent-minded, easily-distracted, procrastinating and yadda yadda. Even for topics I was interested in. (The impatience, know-it-all-ness, and lack of tolerance for fuckwits could quite possibly be something else, as in the article you mention.) That lack of focus is something I beat myself up about constantly, and am still seemingly incapable of fixing. Unlike those who are truly pathological, I obviously function ok, but I also know that I could function better. And this is not in a perfectionistic way - because I am not a perfectionist, at all - but in terms of comparing myself to those who seem to have average focus. I mean, sure, everyone gets bored. Quite often, I'm not bored, but I still lose focus.

For example, when I say I didn't do homework when I was at school, I'm not kidding - I handed in four or five pieces of homework in my entire school career. Luckily, coursework was mainly assessed via end-of-term tests in secondary school. In NZ, you can do a year 13 to earn a government bursary for attending university. To get the bursary, you need to get more than 300 points over 5 subjects in an external examination. Another component that everyone does is an internal assessment - the HSC - which is determined by the amount of coursework you do. It's supposed to be a consolation prize if you don't pass the exams - you do the minimum amount of coursework for three classes out of five and have sufficient attendance for those three classes. I didn't get the HSC - the only person not to in a class of 60 - even the "dummies" got it. I did get the bursary, having got 300-and-something in the external examinations (I didn't pass maths, the only exam I've failed in my life, but I also didn't attend class all year. 40-something wasn't too bad).

So, you know, not even averagely lazy, often.

I don't want to sound more angsty about it than I am, or sound like I'm clutching at a pathological interpretation when it's just a couple of personality quirks. I'm not going to run off to get my head shrunk or start taking quantities of medication (or any). But a preponderance of the symptoms seem to fit, even though they're mostly mild-to-moderate and my life isn't complete Fail. What I would like is to stop the self-blame and perhaps learn some constructive tools to actually manage what goes on a bit better. And in that sense, it doesn't matter too much what the label is, if the tools work. That's the part I'm going to look into a bit more. :-)