Evo pysch science - what is this "scientific method" of which you speak?

[trixtah]

So, the evo psychs have done some research on why penises are shaped the way they are and why human penises are so comparatively large (compared to most other mammals, well, except elephants and pigs). Dandy.

Their conclusion?

[P]enises were sculpted in such a way that the organ would effectively displace the semen of competitors from their partner’s vagina, a well-synchronized effect facilitated by the “upsuck” of thrusting during intercourse. Specifically, the coronal ridge offers a special removal service by expunging foreign sperm. According to this analysis, the effect of thrusting would be to draw other men’s sperm away from the cervix and back around the glans, thus “scooping out” the semen deposited by a sexual rival. 
 

And how did they make this momentous discovery?

The researchers selected several sets of prosthetic genitals from erotic novelty stores, including a realistic latex vagina sold as a masturbation pal for lonely straight men... and three artificial phalluses. (Of various shapes) ... [They] borrowed a recipe for simulated semen from another evolutionary psychologist [what a surprise] ... and created several batches of [so-called] seminal fluid.[i.e. flour and water cooked up together]

Then they played with the toys manually with the flour sludge to try and see if their displacement theory was valid. Supposedly more of the liquid was displaced from the artificial vagina if the rubber penis had a larger coronal ridge. Oh, they did back it up with a survey with college-aged males (I wonder whose students they were?) who all asserted that if they broke up with their g/fs and then got back together with them, the resulting sex was much more vigorous. Yes, because I'm sure all those skanky h0rz still had litres of some other guy's spoodge up them that needed displacing with those mighty coronal ridges.

I can't believe these people actually take themselves seriously.