Kiss the whip

[trixtah]

I really don't know what some women are on. Or some men, for that matter. So, I think I've mentioned  (once or twice) that Canberra is somewhat retro in its attitudes (although the ACT government is currently drafting same-sex civil union legislation, whee!), but I still find myself amazed at some things.

Like women who pick up their hubbies from work. In all the time I've been here, I think I have seen ONE man matter-of-factly get into the passenger side. The norm is for the wife to drive into town, and dutifully get out of the driver's seat and trot round to sit on the passenger side while hubby gets behind the wheel. Even in the last couple of weeks, when there has been abominable weather, torrential rain and thunderstorms, the poor women still got out and ran through the rain to the passenger's side. So they both got needlessly wet - she didn't need to get rained on at all, and he got wetter through waiting for her to get out of the car. All of the couples I saw on those rainy days did the same thing.

Presumably, if she's capable of driving the car into town, she's capable of driving it out of town? They (the wives) can't all hate driving so much, can they? Otherwise, why the fuck do they do it? Why do the men (seem to) expect it?

[cue muttering as to how strange straight people can be]

Comments

[saluqi.livejournal.com]

Hee! The Bear used to call this phenomenon "the Customs shuffle" because when she would drop me off and pick me up behind Customs House you'd see it all the time. Apart from the rain, I would have thought it would be an annoyance to readjust the seat and mirrors for no good reason.

Maybe we should write to the Canberra Times and pose the question?

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

I like it... the Customs shuffle. Excellent! I'm glad I'm not the only person who's noticed!

LOL! Letter to Canberra Times sounds like it could be interesting. How would one sign it? "Disgusted Dyke of Deakin"? "Raving Radical of Reid"? "Foaming Feminist of Fyshwick"?

I had a colleague once send a letter to The Herald newspaper in NZ, earnestly comparing one-day cricket internationals and the use of coloured cricket uniforms to the fall of the Roman Empire. She even quoted Gibbon. She signed it something like "Maj. J.T. Thompson (Rt.) of Beach-haven". And it was published. What a laugh.

[saluqi.livejournal.com]

For me it would have to be something like Grumpy Gorgon of Giralang.

Don't have the brain for letter writing at the moment (although clearly I have time to dink around online) but I guess a letter is a more productive option than running up to the cars and yelling "have you lost your mind!?"

We're going to be in Canberra over the silly season. If you're not going back to NZ for xmess and are interested in catching up again let me know and we can hatch a plan.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that would be cool, actually. I'm going to be firmly ensconced in Canberra over the holiday period, and I'm pretty flexible regarding arrangements. I'll see if I can drag along the spunky chick (if that's ok), although she and the boys and the kidlets are going away for a few days. But we can figure something or other out. :-)

[saluqi.livejournal.com]

Nifty; I'll drop you an email once I see the last of the tradies.

It would be excellent to see the spunky chick again, I had just assumed she would be caught up with kids n' Christmas.

[buddleia.livejournal.com]

I should be disgusted, but I am vastly amused!
Pandering to ridiculous stereotypes = too dumb to stay out of the rain.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Too bloody right. Twits.

One thing that reassured me early on about my g/f, is that despite the fact she picks up the kids from school, AND her two very butchy blokes after work, like hell would anyone get her from behind that steering wheel. heh.

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

Just trying to think of whether I knew of this happening in Ottawa. I don't think I worked near the right sort of government office complexes. But I suspect that Canadian public service families would be far more likely to have two cars in the first place.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

It wasn't just public servants, alas. These kinds pickups were outside bank offices, the SAP headquarters, and the like.

But, sure, I've seen it at home as well, but not so pervasively or recently. I'd expect it more in the burbs back home, or some hick town. *sigh*

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

You know, I pretty much walk around in a kind of fog when it comes to middle-class heterosexual suburban normality. I mean, if I think hard about it, I know it exists. There are people west of Marrickville, for instance, or at least I am told that this is the case. It's like people who don't read books... I occasionally hear someone mention this, but I don't know any. Or if I do, I've blanked it out of my consciousness.

Um, so my point is, everyone could have been doing this all around me for my whole life and I wouldn't necessarily have noticed. I probably would've been standing at the bus stop in the rain with an umbrella in one hand and a book in the other trying to keep the former over the latter while turning pages. Just call me Ms Oblivious.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Some people don't READ BOOKS?! lalalala, I can't hear you!

As for the aforementioned twits, I didn't really consciously register it until I saw all those women scuttling through the rain purely to let hubby get into his rightful place. After about the sixth time one very stormy day, I began to notice A Trend.

But yeah, obliviousness on the street. When I've got my music on, I'm not there. People I know literally have to grab me and shake me before I see them. I managed to train myself out of reading while walking after my third or fourth close encounter with a powerpole. Ouch.

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

Some people don't READ BOOKS?! lalalala, I can't hear you!

I, too, have heard of such people. Even worse--my sister, *one of my own family*, is among the afflicted.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Oh god, it's depressing, isn't it? It can't be genetic, since your sister - poor thing - doesn't have the reading bug, but I was convinced it was. None of my siblings (who are in fact my half-siblings) appear to read, and I was sure that was due to their father's malign influence, since my mother reads quite a lot. It's complete crap, even by my standards, but she does consume a lot of books. Looks like I have to chuck the genetic theory out, alas, though.

Hm, maybe it's "big sister" syndrome in my family. Since I am the eldest, and the geek, none of the others want(ed) to be like her (moi, that is). Even my youngest sister, who I'm convinced would be a big old dyke if it weren't for yours truly, although she's pretty similar to me in lots of other ways.[/ramble]

[filkferengi]

Hey, you can make it work for you [as my make-up professor always used to say]. As I told my spouse, the Proud Mundane, when we got married, "If we can only afford one book collection, I'm glad it's mine." [of course, that was 15 years & 40+ feet of baseball books ago... ;)]

P. S. Loving the alliteration above; it's reassuring that others share the proclivity.

unrelated to the thread....

[saluqi.livejournal.com]

Just like Dicken's Christmas ghost, LJ keeps locating people from the internet past. I'm Anita from boychicks - we met a couple of times in Melbourne in the mid 90's.

Re: unrelated to the thread....

[damned-colonial.livejournal.com]

Oh, hello! I did faintly wonder whether I knew you when I saw you on trixtah's comments page a while back. Of course I'm completely failing to put a face to your name, but I definitely remember your name from the best part of a decade ago, so I'm going to claim half a point for that ;)

[sraun]

I admit, I'm one of those - but's it's because my wife vastly prefers that I drive. I'd cheerfully let her drive if she wanted to, or if she was indifferent.

It does help that we have a bench front seat - she just slides across without having to get out.

[trixtah.livejournal.com]

Oh, that's entirely different - I'm sure some of the women I've noticed don't like driving. I have an ex back in NZ, and if I'm visiting and there's driving to be done, I still do it. 15 years later. It's her car and all, but she loathes driving with an unholy loathe.

I just can't believe that ALL of these women hate driving so much. Although it's possible, I suppose.

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

Back in my marital days we were actually known to do it the other way 'round. I'm not terribly fond of driving, and am a very calm, easygoing passenger. She, OTOH, quite enjoys driving, but doesn't do well as a passenger...she's pretty much the archetype of a stressy "back-seat driver". So she did almost all the "family" driving, and I'd read aloud in the passenger seat--sort of a "book on tape" with legs. *g*

And yes, we got a fair number of odd looks (and even the occasional uncomprehending comment--it really does seem to be one of the Unspoken Rules that The Man Must Do The Driving.

I do NOT understand this mindset that attaches "driving" to "manliness". Or whatever these people are thinking in order to make driving The Man's Job/Responsibility/Privilege.

Because, really, if it was all just personal preference (one person likes driving, the other doesn't) or skill (one is undeniably the better driver), then wouldn't the Officially Assigned Driver be female half the time?

[saluqi.livejournal.com]

Because, really, if it was all just personal preference (one person likes driving, the other doesn't) or skill (one is undeniably the better driver), then wouldn't the Officially Assigned Driver be female half the time?

The skill issue is one to be careful of as well. For a while there because I worked in Civic, Bear did all the driving. My driving skill and confidence definitely suffered for it, although I didn't realise until I started driving regularly again. So in some situations, the person who is the worse driver probably should be driving.

[tygerr.livejournal.com]

Agreed, re: the skill thing. I also suffered from that "skill/confidence" vicious circle when I was married and didn't do much of the driving. And our situation wasn't nearly as one-sided as some of the (euphemism alert) "more-traditional" setups I've seen.

Though that just affects *how* one applies "skill" in the determination of who drives. I don't believe it invalidates the basic argument, or the conclusion that "if we were selecting on the basis of anything other than gender, wouldn't the Designated Driver be female roughly half the time?"